So I've been watching CNN at the gym lately. There have been several news stories regarding the effect of military deployments on the children left at home. Yeah, probably not the best stories to be watching on this end of J's deployment! One of the biggest points made was that is IS affecting, particularily for three categories of kids: teens, girls, and reservists/families away from military bases. We've got two out of three covered - at least we don't have a teenager! The incidence of anxiety and depression skyrockets in those three groups. Another major factor was the attitude, support and abilities of the parent at home running the daily ins and outs of life. Wow - that hit me like a ton of bricks! So much of my children's success and mental well being is related to how positive I can make this experience for them. Hmmm... that got me thinking... What are some ways to keep this light hearted, positive, even... dare I think... fun?
Here are some ideas:
1. I've decided that when I talk about the deployment, I couch things in positive terms. Such as, Daddy is leaving to mobilize, but we get to see him in less than two months after that - that's no time!
2. We get to go back to California where Kara was born for an extended vacation to visit him before he deploys overseas.
3. Summer will be here and we'll take trips, visit family and friends, and do a lot of fun summer things. Then the school year will be full of activities and exciting learning.
summer garden
4. We'll grow another beautiful, productive garden.
5. We will see Grandma and Grandpa alot (hopefully).
6. We will get a webcam to talk/see Daddy daily online.
Other ideas?
My son recently grasped the reality of a deployment for the first time. He said, "What? Where is Dad going?" He wondered why dad would be leaving us for so long, and I was put on the spot to answer that question. I told him, "Jaegar, your dad would stay here if there was any way he could, but he serves our country to protect us - his family - and the rest of the people around us. We can be proud that Daddy is such a good man, does his job so well, and loves us so much. He'll be back before you know it, and then we'll have a big party!" Jaegar seemed satisfied enough with that answer, and was on to the next topic. Daddy is not abandoning us, he's serving us... and that is something I want to reiterate to our children daily.
This deployment impacts you in a way that your children cannot comprehend at this time. Obviously, they'll greatly miss Jarrod and they'll feel his absence in the mundane tasks as well as the milestones, but as an adult you understand the dangers, the risk, the sacrifice, the joy in knowing your husband is serving this country. Your children will simply do what they do everyday ...participate in their daily tasks without analizing all the angles. That is the beautiful simplicity of childhood- knowing your parents carry the burden of the responsibility and you get to just trust them.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of the moment I realized how much my parents love me and cared for me as a child. I knew without a doubt that my parents loved me, yet my eyes were opened to the intensity of that love when I held Noah for the first time. So much became clear at that moment.
Your children will also see Jarrod and you in a whole new light when they are grown and can truly grasp all that will take place in this next year.
As you seek to portray this experience in the best possible light, you'll be painting a lifelong picture of respect and honor that they'll come to appreciate in later years. You're an amazing mom and I know no better person to be in this situation that you.
You'll be in our prayers, as will Jarrod!
Heather - what a wonderfully insightful comment... so much truth there! The sacrifices we make (all of us parents) on a daily basis are quiet and do not become fully realized til years later - most often when those children become parents themselves, like you mentioned. I understand that, and am glad to push forward through this time, knowing my kids will go day to day and the time will suddenly pass - no analyzing required. :) Thank you for your prayers - they are invaluable... looking forward to seeing you soon!
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